Lolita Culture Participant
*All conversations published have gained the consent of speakers.
Our generation is often scolded by the preceding one that we have not suffered as much as they did. However, I feel that although our material needs are met more often than the elders’, they cannot feel and understand our spiritual pressure. Because of this, endless young people “act out,” wanting to be recognized for their distinctive personalities. Even if many people do not understand them, they are a unique group in reality. Qichen, who participates in the Lolita apparel culture, is one of them.
I began by asking about the origin of her passion. “As a fan of Lolita, how did you start to like this type of clothing? Compared with many other unisex clothes, Lolita isn’t as convenient to transit—one moves around with large skirts and intricate accessories. Do you find it more troublesome to wear in your daily life?”
“I think women should have a gentle and elegant temperament and be cared for and loved. I fell in love when I first saw Lolita clothing because they aligned perfectly with these values.
I love my mother and grandma very much. They seem to have never had opportunities to be princesses, even psychologically. Most of the time, they work like men, not holding up half the sky but holding up the whole sky—my grandfather passed away, and my parents divorced. They only care about convenience and comfort when dressing, not beauty, so I have always disliked neutral clothes. Even if some occasions require me to be fast, simple, and flexible, I also like dressing styles with feminine characteristics.
I don’t think it’s a big problem for daily wear. There are many types of Lolita, and the fabrics are available at various prices. You can find clothes that are suitable for everyday wear. Some people still think it’s a bit exaggerated, but why should I care about the opinions of those people? I will save the special, expensive, and good ones for specific holidays and anniversaries when I need them, and this is no different from everyone wearing their own ordinary clothes.” Qichen said, her hands neatly folded in her lap.
I was a little saddened, remembering that Qichen’s grandmother could not afford a washing machine. When I visited Qichen, the older woman was cleaning her clothes by hand. “You buy all kinds of expensive skirts one by one, some of which are collection-level, but most remain in the closet. Did you never think that the money can be given to your mother and grandma so that they can improve their lives?”
“Well... you know that I live in a single-parent family. Maybe my mother was worried that a life without a father would make me unhappy. My grandma also loves me a lot, so as long as I have any needs, they will do their best to help me fulfill them. They found out that I really like Lolita: every time I buy a new dress, from researching the background of a dress to placing an order, then looking forward to its arrival and finally trying it on, this seems to be an especially joyful time for not just me but my whole family. They see me laughing, excited, and very happy. If it’s not worth spending on these clothes, where is a more meaningful place to spend money? Even if you go out to travel and eat, isn’t the purpose still for happiness? It’s just that the way of consumption is different.” She turned her head to her grandma, who was busy at the kitchen counter, preparing lunch for us. Qichen’s tone became a bit hesitant, “I’ve also thought about stopping. I’ve made up my mind not to buy another dress before. Still, sometimes, when my depression kicks in, I get money from two worried sources: either my mother gets a raise and panics when she sees me, or my grandma observes that I’m unhappy and secretly tells me where her savings are. I can’t help but start to buy the next one when I get more money. Showing off in the circle of friends allows me to hear praise and become happy for a short time. But yeah, I also feel that this is like an addiction, a drug in a different form.”
“I know that you are actually a caring and righteous person. You love animals and help many stray cats. You don’t accept actual drugs and gambling. Have you thought about the causes of such an addiction, and have you tried to change it?”
“Little stray animals are helpless because they did not choose to come to this world by themselves, and they cannot change their living conditions through their own hard work. I wholeheartedly understand their situation and am willing to help them.
The education I have received since childhood, regardless from my school or my family, is very traditional, so I will never touch drugs and gambling. Lolita is a way to make people physically and morally beautiful, which makes me more confident. I invent many personas and feel the sensation of being cared for and pampered. I want to be different and like to be different.
Sometimes, I am a little hesitant and think I’m a little uncontrollable. Crazy, even. I ask myself such questions: could this be an industrial chain? Many merchants in industrial chains use their methods to push us to stay on the ride and keep going. Is this a similar situation? If so, it is indeed a bit addictive; I should think more about it and try to stop myself. Nonetheless, my mother also said that when people grow up, they will naturally stop chasing unrealistic dreams. As the proverb says, ‘Everyone returns after rebellion.’ Maybe one day, after a while, I won’t like Lolita anymore.”
As she spoke, Qichen’s eyes were bright, and her anticipation for the future gave her a radiance. I’m very glad that Qichen was always accompanied by the love of her family no matter where she was in life. Although she’s confused right now, she is always full of hope for the future. Perhaps this is also a testament to the life of this generation of youths. Who is young and not crazy?
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